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| Sometimes you just get to say ‘no’ |
Many people find it their automatic default to saying 'yes' whenever they are asked something. They may have learned to respond without thinking about it, perhaps considering the needs of others as more important than their own, or not wanting to show ‘hard’ by frustration, guilt or denial.
Saying ‘yes’ can be a positive feature that opens new doors and experiences. This can be a significant investment in our relationship but is often used or can cause extreme frustration and annoyance without proper consideration.
Let’s take a look at why sometimes you just said ‘no’;
1.- Many times it may become clear that we need to redefine the boundaries of our relationship and remind/restore what is appropriate and acceptable. Over time we can end things out of habit or by default. This is not always the best or respectable way to survive. From now on let's decide to be more clear about our role and see if the things we accept or agree to are still right for us. Saying ‘no’ can be an important part of restoring our self-esteem.
2.- Personal time and space are integral to good self-care. Don’t underestimate the role of some may-time. Being free and having no important work or commitment at this moment means you should feel guilty or allow others to be undeclared at that time. If you have an appointment with an important client, it is hard to imagine anything you would like to prevent. So, keep yourself in your diary and say ‘no’ to cancel, unless there is a real emergency. Commit regular time for yourself.
3.- Sometimes saying 'no' means what you are doing, what others have done can be a way to let others know that you are busy doing something else. They will probably not appreciate the number of your responsibilities and commitments, how time-consuming and they can come back after explaining firmly and politely. If you always say 'yes', they may think you have no objection, they are happy to be 'go-to-guy'. And it may be that once it’s just a reflection, you automatically begin to appreciate how much you do without a second thought.
4.- Also do not forget that monotony is often affected. We can feel the obligation to fulfill every moment in meaningful activities, housework, getting to know people, self-improvement. There is often a list of things we should do, but sometimes it is not right to do anything. It allows our mind and body to remain calm and stable. It teaches us about the importance of silence and inactivity, about switching on our ‘I’m ready, bring adrenaline’. Children can often learn a lot when they are bored. Always desperate to provide them with the constant stimulation and entertainment of technology, film and adults, but children often use their imaginations when they leave on their own devices and become fun in still need to be encouraged.
5.- Find acceptable ways to say 'no', which you are comfortable with. Anger and resentment can be more pronounced if we feel that we are under pressure to do more, always say ‘yes’, but this extreme reaction is often unnecessary. More time to say 'this is not a good time for me', or 'I'm busy, already doing x and y' may be enough to let others know what you're already doing and encourage them to respect you and your dignity
6.- Then those of us who invite say so often 'yes' that we actually forgot about any concerts, events, parties! Saying ‘yes’ can often turn special moments into a semi-memorable blur. Although somewhat like many perfume experiments, we have become numb and unable to fully appreciate every experience.
It is important to say 'yes'. It moves us out of our comfort zone, making us alert and receptive to new experiences and opportunities. And often when we say ‘yes’ and agree to seemingly impossible opportunities or things we don’t want to do, we can be pleasantly surprised at how beautifully they come out. But equally, we need to be prepared to say 'no' if we feel overwhelmed, stuck, not properly equipped or feeling the need to do something good. Proper use of both yes and no can play a positive role in our lives. Read More